The End in Friend Zone

Friday, 19 September 2014

(Yes, that's me as a baby with my life-long friend)

One of my first best friends was a boy named Daniel. I knew him from my very first day in reception and we even changed to the same school at the exact same time in year two.
During being bullied in my time at primary school, girls used to taunt me and make fun of my friendship with Daniel, jeering at me when I’d turn to him to talk to him at playtimes -  they’d shout things at me such as ‘yeah, go back to your boyfriieeend’. 
Now, this is laughable, but at the time I didn’t understand why they were being mean to me, and it upset me that I couldn’t even sit with the one friend that I had during that tough period.

Unfortunately, we didn’t end up going to the same secondary school, but I almost immediately I became friends with a group of girls.
Boys became a point of interest – talking to a male would almost always result in somebody questioning whether I liked them or not, and a lot of the time, if I got along with them well, I just assumed that I did.
I had a lot of ‘boyfriends’ during my time in secondary school, and I genuinely can’t even tell you that I fancied them all, I just liked liked having male company again.

In year nine, I became friends with a group of guys and I was so happy to be classed as a friend and not a potential girlfriend. It was so refreshing to be able to hang out with people that weren’t bitching about other people or talking about the opposite sex – I could just be me and relax. I knew that they just saw me as a friend and it made me really happy.
It showed me that males and females can just be friends without people talking and with comfortable mutual feelings.

Somehow, wherever the damn phrase came from, nowadays, ‘friend zone’ is thrown about. A lot. It bugs me.

To say a girl puts a guy into the ‘friend zone’ is like saying we enjoy hanging a carrot in front of a donkey and letting that poor donkey run until it exhausts itself. We are human beings, not torturous creatures.

Females can be friends with males, a shock to some, but yes we can… and you know what? Those males can also be friends with females.

I am sick and tired of mentioning male friends and being told ‘ahhh, in the friend zone is he?’ NO. No, he is not in the friend zone, he is just my friend. He is my friend as much as my girlfriends; he is my friend as much as I am his. We are platonic; we have no feelings for each other. We. Are. Friends.

If you are a one of the unfortunate minority of males that classes yourself as being in ‘the friend zone’ I’d just like to ask you why you think that is fair? When you became her friend, what were you expecting? We are not a potential sexual conquest for you, and if you even thought so, you don’t deserve to be in this imaginary zone as it is. You are lucky to have her as a friend.

I want this phrase to stop. I want to be friends with males in the comfort that they are not going back to their mates and placing themselves into this ‘zone’ because I choose not to sleep with them.
I want to be comfortable hanging out with a guy, knowing that we can chill out alone together, and that he will go back to his mates and not get questioned about what happened.

I want the world to be able to stop categorising males as sexual predators, because there’s a damn lot of them that don’t feel the need to categorise their friendships with the opposite sex because of the lack of sexual encounters.

You are not put into a zone. You are her friend. Respect her.

Find me on: bloglovin'Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest & Tumblr

No comments :

Post a Comment

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post and to leave a comment! It means the world.