Personal: A Quick Note

Photo by Mel Knight

Hey honey bees.

So, life lately has been a little crazy. I'm not sure how or when that craziness is going to end, but that's not going to be something to delve into on here. Let's just say the Laura roller coaster is at the peak right now.

I've taken a step back from a lot of things over the past couple of weeks. And some things I've gone head-first into, and in both situations, I'm not quite sure which one is most for me.

I've always been one that steps back from things, just to make my own life easier, to be honest. I steer away from things that could cause major dramatic effects, and I'll be strict on my actions in order to keep my feelings on the straight and narrow and not have to feel much at all (thanks, ex).

Since graduation, I've been down. I've returned to a place which contains absolutely zero of my friends, and I've watched from afar as people I know meet up, do fun stuff, and I'm stuck where I am.
I don't want to be stuck. But I really don't think I have a choice in that matter for the foreseeable future.

I never really had a plan for post-graduate life. I guess I just thought that it would fall into place. I know it's only been three months, but I feel impatient and partly angry that I'm not even slightly close to being anywhere or anything near what I want to be.

Part of me wants to just up and move back to Manchester. Be with my friends, live somewhere I love and just deal with whatever job I end up in. But I don't want to just work to live. I want to do something that I enjoy and love, alongside being near my best friends.

And then there's this blog. I love this little piece of the internet that I have, I really do. But I don't want to feel guilty or minorly stressed when I haven't posted for a while. But alongside those feelings, maybe I feel those things because I want to make something of this blog.

Basically, guys and girls, I'm in a life rut, and I have no bloody idea what to do about anything.

So, that's my aim right now; To figure myself out. I need to concentrate on what I love, what I enjoy, and what I definitely don't want, and make a full-on plan of action to get where I want to be, or just to be happy.

And that's a great excuse to buy a new notebook.

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