Dear Alan Rickman

Thursday, 14 January 2016


You passed away today. 

I was sat watching TV and filling in my diary when I found out. It was strange because I was away from Twitter for a bit which doesn't happen very often, and in that time it was released that you had left our world to become a shining star in the sky.
My best friend text me 'Did you hear about Alan Rickman?' I replied 'What no oh god what'. I tried to convince myself that you had just been in an accident of some sort, as after all it was clear something was wrong, and anything that could lead to a full road to recovery would have been better than seeing that you had died. But you had. I burst out crying.


"Harry Potter actor Alan Rickman dies of cancer aged 69"


When I was little, I used to love reading. I used to absorb my whole being into books to forget everything. To forget the bullies, to forget I was different to other girls, to forget my lack of friends and to feel as if I belonged somewhere. I discovered Harry Potter. 
I started reading the books in 2000 when I was 8 years old. I was four books behind others, but I found my place in the fictional world. 

I read each book in a day each. I so vividly remember being sat hidden away in a corner reading The Chamber of Secrets whilst my Mum was decorating my bedroom around me. 

Hogwarts was exactly where I was meant to be.

It was announced that they were being made into films and I was so excited. I remember when it was released and afterwards being in class at primary school and all the boys were talking about this Emma Watson that was playing Hermionie because they all fancied her.
I wasn't a fan of Hermionie. I was in awe of Dumbledore, McGonagall and Snape. The most perfect casting and the most perfect actors. Still, to this day, watching The Philosopher's Stone back, there are only the select few characters that were truly brought to life from my imagination.

You were the most perfect, the most amazing, the epitome of everything that I imagined Snape to be.

You had the impossible ability of being able to transform yourself into characters that very few actors would ever be able to do. You had the most beautiful presence on screen, a presence that took my breath away, kept me hooked, made me forget that you were somebody that wasn't the character in front of my eyes.
You were the most brilliant actor. You brought to life a character that I loved to hate, hated to love. A character that I grew up with, that was part of a world that I still dream about and transports me to that little gap next to my bed that I hid away in and read and read and read.

So, to that bright star in the sky tonight, thank you for being part of something wonderful. Thank you for following up on your passion and becoming one of the greatest actors of all time. Thank you for saying yes to Jo when you weren't so sure on being part of a wizarding world. Thank you for making us all laugh and cry. Thank you for portraying every character that you ever played so perfectly.

I raise my wand for you, Half-Blood Prince. You shall live our hearts forever. Always.


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